Scatological Explanation of the Geithner Plan

So, I was on a private BBS formed out of the ashes of Netslaves, and someone asked the following:

CNN keeps talking about it raising the DOW today, but I have no idea what it actually is supposed to do.

So I quickly riffed on this, and the response was very positive, so I thought that I should share my (somewhat profane) explanation with the world:

---

Short:

• Place your hand in your pocket.
  
• Remove wallet
  
• Hand to Wall Street Executive.

Longer version:

• The Treasury/FDIC/FED will make non recourse loans to allow investors to buy into the big sh@#pile of mortgage backed securities (MBS), credit default swaps (CDS) and other alphabet soup so that they buyer will put down about 3% for a 20% stake in this sh@#.
  
• A non recourse loan means that if the investment fails, the lender (i.e. the taxpayer) takes back the sh@#, and the loan is settled, basically, they are only out their 3% (or less) down payment.
  
• Basically, it's a subsidy to the big banks and investment houses, who created the sh@#, because the small investor cannot get the sh@# for cash deal without going through the big banks and investment houses, and paying a sh@# load of commissions.
  
• This has the effect of creating a taxpayer subsidy for the sh@# that is (at least, there are other programs that feed in) of at least 30%.
  
• So eat your sh@# sandwich, and know that somewhere a Wall Street banker is spending your money on some prostitute to sh@# on him.

What can I say but sh@#?