Headline of the Day

Iran’s Khamenei Likens U.S. to Cat in ‘Tom and Jerry’

—Bloomberg

So Iran's supreme religious leader knows enough about US culture to make a Tom and Jerry reference, specifically that, "The U.S. has tried various political, economic, military and propaganda undertakings to hit the Islamic Republic, but all these plots failed. Like the famous cat in Tom and Jerry they will lose again."

I cannot imagine a Saudi cleric even knowing who the hell Tom and Jerry are.

It's Time for Metaphor Mania

There is a sinkhole on the White House north lawn.

There is some sort of metaphor here, but it's just out of my reach:

For all the concern over leaks at the White House, a more pressing problem might be the sinkhole on the North Lawn that appears to be growing by the day.

The pit in the ground, which was first reported by White House correspondents on site this week, appears to have opened just outside the press briefing room and deputy White House press secretary Hogan Gidley’s office.

Steve Herman, a reporter with Voice of America, tweeted that he first spotted the sinkhole last week. It has since grown, and another sinkhole has opened next to it.

It appears that Twitter machine is going crazy over this.

Tweet of the Day

Just imagine, if the Nixon burglary had been at somewhere other than the Watergate Hotel, we might be calling political scandals “Holiday Inns” to this day, or like “He got embroiled in a real Doubletree situation last year.”

— Nicole Cliffe (@Nicole_Cliffe) May 13, 2018

I challenge my reader(s) to create a stand-up bit of comedy lasting at least 3 minutes based on this.

If you have problems riffing on this, , I would note that the Charles Street Jail in Boston is now a luxury hotel, and there is likely comedic material aplenty there.

Holy Crap!!!!

Following the publication of allegations of assaults against women, New York Attorney General Eric Schneiderman has resigned.

I'm surprised by the allegations, and I am surprised by the speed of his resignation, but I am not unhappy to see him go, as he was the one who put the state AG stamp of approval of the corrupt mortgage settlement which was the Obama administrations 2^nd bailout of the banks:

Schneiderman was singularly responsible for the Obama Administration’ success in executing what has not been sufficiently well recognized as a second bailout to banks, in the form of the 2012 National Mortgage Settlement in which 49 states also participated. We called the “get out of liability for almost free card” for banks otherwise known as the National Mortgage Settlement. Federal and state officials had massive leverage over bank servicers to force them to do mortgage modifications for borrowers who still had some level of income. It would not only have been better for homeowners and communities, but it would have greatly reduced investor losses.

As Attorney General, at least, he was always more about posing than actual results.

Adventures in the Annals of Quackery

In the annals of quack medicine, there is patent medicine, there is quackery, and then there is treating someone with the saliva of a rabid dog:

“Hair of the dog” remedies may do the trick for some hangover sufferers. But health experts say that a Canadian homeopath took the idea too far—way, way too far.

Homeopath and naturopath Anke Zimmermann used diluted saliva from a rabid dog to “treat” a four-year-old boy, according to a blog post she published earlier this year. Zimmermann claims that the potentially infectious and deadly concoction successfully resolved the boy’s aggressive behavior, which she described as a “slightly rabid-dog state.”

The tale fits with the scientifically implausible principles of homeopathy. These roughly state that substances that produce similar symptoms of a particular ailment can cure said ailment (“like cures like”) and that diluting a substance increases its potency (“law of infinitesimals”).

Health experts say Zimmermann’s claims aren’t just farfetched, but, rather, they’re barking mad.

………

Zimmermann quickly sniffed out the source of the problem: when Jonah was younger, a dog bit him. That is, Jonah’s mother said that one time a dog accidentally “broke the skin slightly” on Jonah’s hand while it was reaching to get food Jonah was holding.

Zimmermann pounced on the tidbit, claiming:

A bite from an animal, with or without rabies vaccination, has the potential to imprint an altered state in the person who was bitten, in some ways similar to a rabies infection. This can include over-excitability, difficulties sleeping, aggression, and various fears, especially of dogs or wolves. This child presented a perfect picture of this type of rabies state. Most homeopaths would have easily recognized the remedy required in this case.

The “remedy” to this “state” was clearly the saliva of a rabid dog, Zimmermann concluded. Months later, the mother reported that Jonah’s issues had improved—although they had not resolved entirely.

You can read the whole article for innumerable dog puns, but this is truly horrifying, and Zimmerman needs to be locked up to protect the rest of society.

Yes, It Has Been a Strange Year, and It's not Yet May

.@jaketapper: The judge forced Michael Cohen to admit in court he has a third client. And the third client is Sean Hannity.

Go home 2018, you’re drunk. https://t.co/7McUZSjki8 pic.twitter.com/rXkx91hxCI

— The Lead CNN (@TheLeadCNN) April 16, 2018

2018 isn't just drunk.

2018 is locked in a closet, wearing two wet suits, hogtied, with a dildo up its ass. (What I am referring to)

We are living in the Chinese curse of interesting times. (Yes, I know it apocryphal, but give me this one)

This is F%$#ed Up and Sh%$

An orthodox Jewish employee of Anne Frank House in Denmark was told that he could not wear a Yarmulke to work.

Kafka would find this bizarre:

For his first six months on the job, the Anne Frank House in Amsterdam reportedly forbade a Jewish employee from wearing a kippa.

Twenty-five-year-old Barry Vingerling was told to remove his kippa upon showing up at his first day of work at the museum, according to a report Thursday in the NIW Dutch Jewish weekly.

Museum officials explained that the Anne Frank House had a policy against donning religious symbols that would break with their “neutrality” efforts, Vingerling relayed to the NIW.

Yeah, I guess that letting people know that there are Jews working at Anne Frank House would break with their "neutrality" efforts.

The phrase coined by Douglas Adams, "A bunch of mindless jerks who'll be the first against the wall when the revolution comes," appears to apply.

When the Going Gets Weird, the Weird Turn Pro ………

In the same day, we have former House Speaker John Boehner joining the board of a pot grower. and Current House Speaker Paul Ryan announcing his retirement.

While a number of reports regarding Ryan's decision to not to run for reelections read are hagiographies full of nonsense phrases like, "Principled Conservative," I think that the evidence points elsewhere:  Specifically, the polling appeared to indicate that he was in for the race of his life against Randy "Iron Stache" Bryce, a union activist and ironworker.

The Democratic primary should get interesting, as in addition to Mr. Bryce, a school teacher and school board member, Cathy Myers is running, and I would expect someone else to jump in before the June filing deadline, particularly since both Bryce and Myers are strongly progressive, and someone is going to try to stand up a centrist squish.

On the Republican side, the now-leading candidate for the nomination, Paul Nehlen, is a Nazi. (Not hyperbole)

Strange times.

Best Science Headline Ever

How Many Times to They Pass the Ball?

Cosmic Gorilla Effect Could Blind Detection of Aliens

It's also a good discussion of inattentional blindness, with a focus on how this might be interfering with the search for extraterrestrial life. (SETI).

Good read.

Meme of the Day

Yeah, pretty much.

"Spring" in Maryland

1PM: Snow Squall


2 hours later: Sunny and 60 degrees


2 hours after that: Sleeting

It's March 25.

It's officially been Spring for days.

It started snowing a little bit after noon.

By 1 pm we had a full snow squall.

And then, it was followed by warmer temperatures and clear skies, which was in turn followed by a frozen mix.

Enough already!!!!!

Am I This Guy?

I saw this cartoon, and I was horrified to realize that it was way too much like me.

I asked my family, and they all said, "Pretty much."



Link to full cartoon.

More Cowbell!!!!

A vegan nut-job^* activist in Switzerland has been denied citizenship in for a campaign against cowbells:

A longtime resident of Switzerland has been refused a passport because of her outspoken campaign against cowbells. Vegan animal rights activist Nancy Holten, who was born in the Netherlands but has lived in Switzerland since she was eight years old, has been labelled a "big mouth" by the resident committee in her village that has rejected her citizenship application twice.

Holten's argument? Wearing heavy metal bells around their necks is causing Switzerland's roaming cows physical pain and distress. Switzerland's argument? Cows look damn good in bells, especially when they're roaming around in the picturesque alps. Also, tourists are charmed by them.

In Switzerland, citizenship applications are partially assessed by a committee of residents who live in the same district as the applicant. It would appear that Holten is unpopular among some in her village of Gipf-Oberfrick, with a local representative of the Swiss People's Party Tanja Suter telling the Swiss media that she "annoys us and doesn't respect our traditions."

Cow bells aren't the only cause on Holten's mind. The self-described freelance journalist, author, model and drama student has staged multiple campaigns against other beloved national pastimes like hunting and piglet racing. According to Swiss news site The Local, the sounds of church bells irritate her too. Does this woman even eat Lindt balls?

You know, cow bells would not be my choice for a hill to die on, but whatever.

^*The nut job has nothing to do with being a vegan, and everything to do with freaking out over f%$#ing cowbells.

International Pun of the Day

Russian to Judgement

—Craig Murray

He's discussing the recent poisonings of a Russian double agent in Russia.

He's skeptical of the current narrative, as we all should be in this world of "81mm Aluminum Tubes."

I'd take his arguments at the link with a grain of salt, but I love the pun.

This is like the Trumpest thing ever.

You may have heard that Donald Trump was nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.

Normally, this means that some random person, one without the ability to actually nominate someone for the award.

It appears that some bright fellow, no doubt a graduate of Trump University, added a twist to that process, they engaged in identity theft to make his nomination appear official:

The Norwegian Nobel Committee, which selects winners of the peace prize, says someone using a stolen identity has nominated President Donald Trump for the award.

The Norwegian news agency NTB quoted committee secretary Olav Njolstad as saying it appears the same person was responsible for forging nominations in 2017, as well.

Njolstad declined to identify the person, adding that Norwegian police had been informed.

We Have Reached Peak Trump.

Brazil Shows Us What We Need for Good Healthcare

It appears that all you need is a community minded hyper-violent drug lord:

Thomaz Vieira Gomes, also known as 2N, is considered one of the most dangerous criminals in Rio de Janeiro, but recently he actually did something decent, albeit still illegal, for once.

He and his gang kidnapped two male nurses and made them vaccinate the poor people of his favela against yellow fever.

For months, Brazil has been dealing with a yellow fever epidemic that has already left dozens dead. Despite the Health Ministry’s plans to vaccinate millions of people in the hopes of containing the outbreak, immunisation centres struggle to keep up with the high number of patients, and, as always, the poorest communities are usually ignored.

………

On January 27th, the young gang leader and a few of his cronies descended on a local state-run clinic in two black cars, took as many syringes and vaccine doses as they could find, and kidnapped two of the male nurses on duty that night.

They then drove to the Amarelinho bar in Salgueiro where the two nurses spent hours administering yellow fever vaccines to members of the local community.

………

After doing their job, the two victims were reportedly taken back to their workplace.

………

Even the country’s former Minister of Environment took to Twitter to comment on this bizarre story, saying that while 2N is still an “a-hole” his actions were a “public service”.

I'm not entirely sure WHAT the lesson to be learned here, but I am sure that there IS a lesson to be learned here.

Tekeli Li!!!!! Tekeli Li!!!!!

See the horror that is a Singing Furby Organ:

I am Updating the Bad Hair Web Page

In the old days of the internet, I quickly realized that I could not create a particularly useful web page, so I deliberately created a useless one, dedicated to bad hair.

Because of an incident as he boarded Air Force One, I have updated my Bad Hair Web Page.

It's my first update since 2001, when I added Jim Trafficant.

This might be the lamest page on the web.

H/t Cthulhu at the Stellar Parthenon BBS.

The World is a Very Strange Place

The following headline is proof of this:

Jacinda Ardern Considers Offer from Maori Leaders to Bury Placenta at Historic British Treaty Site

I have no words.

This Year's Maryland Senate Primary Should Be Fun

Chelsea Manning is running for the US Senate Seat currently held by Ben Cardin:

Chelsea E. Manning, the transgender former Army private who was convicted of passing sensitive government documents to WikiLeaks, is seeking to run for the U.S. Senate in Maryland, according to federal election filings.

Manning would be challenging Democrat Benjamin L. Cardin, who is in his second term in the Senate and is up for reelection in November. Cardin is Maryland’s senior senator and is considered an overwhelming favorite to win a third term.

I'm actually considering voting for her, because it would be a personal f%$# you to the US state security apparatus.