Tweet of the Day

Fist-bump, @Walmart , the term you're looking for is fist-bump. pic.twitter.com/JLqjyr2Apo

— Khalil Sehnaoui (@sehnaoui) April 12, 2016

H/t Mock Paper Scissors.

Yeah, I Guess Kasich Is the Best They Have

Today, Donald Trump (but you already guessed that) wondered in a speech how former Penn State football coach Joe Paterno was doing.

It appears that Trump forgot that:

• Paterno was fired a because he covered up the activities of a serial child rapist.
• Jo Paterno is dead.

Oops:

Speaking at a rally in Pittsburgh, Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump mentioned late Penn State football coach Joe Paterno, who died in 2012. Paterno was fired from the school and his statue removed after Jerry Sandusky's sexual abuse of children came to light. (Reuters)

Pandering to local crowds is a staple of political campaigns everywhere, and Donald Trump’s is no different. But the key to successful pandering is knowing to whom you’re speaking and, of course, what you’re saying.

Trump was way off base on both those counts Wednesday, when he spoke before a crowd of supporters at a rally in Pittsburgh.

“I know a lot about Pennsylvania, and it’s great,” Trump said. Which is standard-issue stuff, but then things got awkward.

“How’s Joe Paterno?” Trump asked. “We’re gonna bring that back? Right? How about that whole deal?”

Paterno, for those who may have forgotten (including, possibly, a certain presidential candidate) died in 2012. (Wait, is bringing him back from the grave an essential part of making America great again?)

His campaign is now claiming that he was asking if the coach's statue was returning to the State College campus.

No.  Trump had a brain fart that makes John Kasich look like Stephen f%$#ing Hawking, only, of course, Stephen Hawking is a far more inspiring speaker.

This Is the Best That They Have?

I am referring, of course, to John Kasich, who gave a speech at a Yeshiva (Jewish religious school), and decided to tell them about an obscure bible story, the story of Joseph:

John Kasich's travels in New York brought him yesterday to a Jewish bookstore, where he met students of the Talmud. Having thus met people who spend their entire day scrutinizing religious texts, Kasich's reaction was to ask them if they were aware of facts about those texts that they probably knew as very small children. "They sold [Joseph] into slavery, and that's how the Jews got to Egypt. Right? Did you know that?" For those who never attended Sunday school, this is a bit like visiting MIT, wandering into a physics lab, and asking people if they ever heard of this guy named Isaac Newton.

But it gets even better: He then went to a Jewish bakery, and drew an analogy between the blood of the Pascal lamb, and the blood of Jesus:

If Ohio Gov. John Kasich’s visit to Hasidic Brooklyn this week had yielded only one amusing moment, Dayenu – it would have been enough.

But, thank God, there were many in the Republican presidential candidate’s visit to a Jewish bookstore, shmura matzah bakery and Hasidic school in Borough Park on Tuesday.

“It’s a wonderful, wonderful holiday for our friends in the Jewish community – the Passover,” Kasich told reporters after emerging from the matzah bakery, a box of the fresh-baked stuff in hand.

Yes, Jews are known to love The Passover, almost as much they love The Pre-Election Drop-By from vote-seeking politicians.

Flanked by Hasidic publicist Ezra Friedlander, Kasich then launched into a brief appraisal of the links between Passover and, um, the blood of Jesus Christ.

“The great link between the blood that was put above the lampposts” – er, you mean doorposts, governor — “the blood of the lamb, because Jesus Christ is known as the lamb of God. It’s his blood, we believe …”

Kasich’s only saving grace was that his remarks kept getting interrupted by the subway rumbling on the elevated tracks overhead.

Talking about Christ’s blood during a visit to Borough Park? Oy vey. Please, somebody, prep this guy. Hasidic Jews in Brooklyn want to hear about food stamps, affordable housing, Medicaid. Ix-nay on the Esus-jay.

This is definitely the silly season in politics.

Remember though, that according to all the "very serious people" Kasich is the only adult in the proverbial room.

I would say, "The stupid, it burns!" but this wasn't even the stupidest thing that a Republican said today.

Take a guess who it was who was even stupider. No peeking.

Thanks Hillary

As Secretary of State, Hillary Clinton aggressively supported the coup in Honduras.

Now that government has brought back death squads:

Three weeks ago, Honduran activist Gaspar Sanchez spoke at a briefing on Capitol Hill, urging lawmakers to support an impartial investigation into the murder of environmental activist Berta Cáceres.

Cáceres had mobilized native communities to speak out against the Agua Zarca Dam, a hydroelectric project backed by European and Chinese corporations, before being killed by two unknown gunmen last month.

Last week, back in Honduras at a protest outside the Honduran Public Ministry in Tegulcigalpa, Sanchez unfurled a banner demanding justice for Cáceres’s murder.

When nearby soldiers saw him, they dragged him away from the crowd and brutally beat him, stopping only after the crowd of protestors came to his defense.

………

Victor Fernandez, a prominent human rights attorney and lawyer representing the Cáceres family, insisted that her assassination was carried out by either the Honduran government or by “the paramilitary structure of companies.”

“Honduras is the victim of international theft due to its national resources,” said Fernandez, speaking through a translator. “What we have now is our natural resources — minerals, rivers, forest. Cáceres was killed because she was confronting the extractive model.”

Bertha Oliva compared the current situation to the early 1980s, when the CIA funded, armed, and trained Honduran government death squads that murdered hundreds of opposition activists.

………

In 2009, a coup toppled Honduran President Manuel Zelaya, who had long been seen as a leftist threat to the interests of international corporations. In 2008, Zelaya blocked a series of hydroelectric dam projects, citing concerns raised by native Hondurans. Less than a year after he was deposed, the new government had already approved 40 dam contracts. When the current President Juan Orlando Hernández came to power in 2013, his slogan was “Honduras is open for business.”

The coup was accompanied by a huge rise in political violence. By 2012, state security forces had assassinated more than 300 people, and 34 members of the opposition and 13 journalists had disappeared, according to data compiled by Honduran human rights organizations. The political assassinations added to the emboldened violence from gangs and drug traffickers, making Honduras one of the most dangerous countries in the world. In 2012, Reuters reported that it had the highest murder rate of any country.

I know that Clinton claims that she has the experience to be President, to paraphrase the wisest thing that I've read this century:

Give me one single example of something with the following three characteristics:

1. It is a policy initiative of the current Hillary Clinton.
2. It was significant enough in scale that I'd have heard of it (at a pinch, that I should have heard of it)
3. It wasn't in some important way completely f%$#ed up during the execution.

Yes, I am comparing her to the Bush administration.

I Could Care Less about the Stanley Cup Playoffs

Earlier today, my wife mentioned that the Stanley Cup playoffs were starting tonight.

She is a hockey fan, specifically the New York Rangers.

I am most assuredly not a follower of the sport.

Upon observing my lack of enthusiasm, she said, "You could care less about the Stanley Cup Playoffs."

I corrected her, and said, "No, I couldn't care less about the Stanley Cup Playoffs," because this is the proper linguistic formulation to describe supreme apathy.

It turns, as is often the case, she was right, and I was wrong.

There are things that I care about a LOT less than specifically.

The I saw a report about the tweets of Craig Mazin, who was Ted Cruz's roommate in their freshman year at Princeton.

He has made a bit of a hobby tweeting about how Cruz was back in the day, and it is clear that he has never been a fan of his.

Well, in response to accounts of Cruz' running the defense of the Texas' ban on "Sexual Appliances", Mr. Mazin tweeted the following:

Ted Cruz thinks people don't have a right to "stimulate their genitals." I was his college roommate. This would be a new belief of his.

— Craig Mazin (@clmazin) April 13, 2016

Sharon was right, I was wrong, I care about this a LOT less than the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

I really did not need that image in my head.

Snark of the Day

I feel this may well be a turning point. It's one thing to lose a 12-minute version of "Sherry Darling," or the first-round of the 2072 NCAA Men's Division I basketball tournament. But when the state legislature finds itself besieged by hundreds of angry, blue-balled, hairy-palmed, half-blind preachers, that's when you'll really see things move. Venceremos, my comrades!

—Charlier Pierce on XHamster blocking porn viewers from North Carolina from viewing their pr0n in response to the state's anti-gay laws.

Heh.

The Image You Should Have in Your Head When You Think Uber

Just witnessed @Uber driver literally peeing in a cup and flinging it out window in city streets. Ridiculous

— Maria Bartiromo (@MariaBartiromo) April 11, 2016

Pee in a cup flying out a window = Uber.

Works for me.

Worst Constitutional Law Professor Ever

Barack Obama just admitted that mishandling of classified data is OK for his friends:

In an interview Sunday with Fox News, President Obama indicated he doesn't think Hillary Clinton really truly shared top secret government information on a private email server while she was secretary of state. "There's classified, and then there's classified," Obama said.

This is another version of Nixon's comment to David Frost, "If the President Does It, That Means It’s Not Illegal."

He has gone after critics that has led to more prosecutions than every single president since the creation of the Republic, but when Hillary mishandles information, or when Leon Panetta leaks classified infomation to Kathryn Bigelow, the CIA's version of Leni Riefenstahl, it's OK, because it is his Evil Minions^™.

The terms corrupt and hypocritical come to mind, and this is just repulsive.

Tweet of the Day

Dennis Skinner is a legend. #ResignDavidCameron pic.twitter.com/bMV70aIDeU

— Sean O' Donovan (@henriksen1) April 9, 2016

Our IP Regime Has Gotten Out of Hand

An artist has now gotten an exclusive license to a color:

Anish Kapoor, the famed sculptor, who created the ArcelorMittal Orbit sculpture for the 2012 Olympics, has provoked the fury of fellow artists this week by acquiring the exclusive rights to use the blackest shade of black in the world. Vantablack, as the hue is known, derives its name from the terms Vertically Aligned NanoTube Arrays. Created in 2014 by scientists at UK-based company, Surrey NanoSystems Limited, for the purpose of disguising satellites, it is the blackest substance known to man, absorbing a maximum of 99.965% of radiation in the visible spectrum. With its light-absorbing properties, it has also been used to hide Stealth fighter jets from enemy eyes.

While aerospace companies will continue to be able to use the shade, in the art world, its use will be limited to Anish, as confirmed by a NanoSystems spokesman on Tuesday. Sir Anish did not respond to requests for comment. He did, however, speak about Vantablack last year, saying: "The material is astonishing, so deeply black that your eyes can’t really see it at all. It is like staring into the kind of black hole found in outer space." According to reports, it seems as though a license-type of relationship exists between Anish and NanoSystems. There has been no word, however, on how much Anish paid in exchange for the exclusive right to use the Vantablack substance.

Portraitist Christian Furr is one of the artists that has spoken out about the limited availability of the color, telling the Daily Mail: “We should be able to use it. It isn’t right that it belongs to one man.” Furr, who had planned to use Vantablack in a series of paintings called Animals, elaborated, saying: "I've never heard of an artist monopolizing a material. Using pure black in an artwork grounds it."

This is f%$#ed up and sh%$.

It will Still Be #ASSoL or #ASSLaw

It appears that in response to the internet discovering the potential initials of the Antonin Scalia School of Law, George Mason is attempting a re-branding:

Days after George Mason University’s law school announced that it was renaming itself after Justice Antonin Scalia, the school is slightly adjusting what it’s calling itself — thanks to unforeseen and unfortunate wordplay.

The name, officially, remains “The Antonin Scalia School of Law at George Mason University” in honor of the late justice who died in February. But on its website and marketing materials, the name now reads: “The Antonin Scalia Law School at George Mason University”.

That’s no accident.

The first five words of the “School of Law” version form an acronym that has a phonetic resemblance to a vulgarity, a source of amusement for some bloggers and tweeters and a source of non-amusement for George Mason’s administration, which agreed to rename itself after Justice Scalia at the request of an anonymous donor who pledged $20 million.

It's not going to work.

When Allegheny (aka "Agony") Airlines changed its name to US Air, it got nicknamed "Useless Air" at the press conference announce the renaming.

You need to embrace this, not try to sweep it under the rug.

I would suggest changing the name the the Scalia Hieratic Institute of Tutalge in Higher Educational Excellence in the Law.<sup>*

*</sup>Yes, it took me longer to come up with the acronym than it did to write the rest of this.

Of Course DCIA Brennan's Not Telling the Truth. His Lips are Moving.

Over at Emptywheel, Marcy Wheeler observes that CIA Director John Brennan's assurances that CIA officers would not torture people would not have ended any of the prior instances of torture:

………

But it’s funny, too, because Brennan’s assurances about waterboarding would hold true even for the period when CIA was waterboarding detainees. Because CIA officers didn’t do the waterboarding.

As a reminder, at least four detainees were known to be waterboarded under the Gloves Come Off Memorandum of Notification. The first, Ibn Sheikh al-Libi, was waterboarded by Egyptian intelligence, though with Americans present.

The others were waterboarded as part of torture led by Mitchell and Jessen, who were not CIA officers, but instead contractors. CIA officers were definitely involved in that torture (as they were present for our outsourced Egyptian torture). But the torture was technically done by contractors.

Don’t get me wrong: CIA officers did engage in a whole lot of torture directly.

But Brennan’s squirmy language should only emphasize the fact that even when CIA was in the business of waterboarding, CIA officers didn’t do the waterboarding. So Brennan’s guarantees that CIA officers won’t do so in the future are pretty meaningless guarantees.

Not a surprise.  Brennan has been objectively pro-torture for over a decade.

The control of our state security apparatus has been ceded to people who aggressively pursue evil, self-destructive, and ineffective policies and programs.

The down-slope of empire for your perusal.

How Convenient!

Chris Kobach, the Kansas Secretary of State, who has been the vociferous opponent of voting rights in the United States, just sent out a Spanish language voter guide with the wrong date for the registration deadline.

If you believe that this was a good faith mistake, I have some mountains in Kansas to sell to you:

The Spanish-language voter guides from Kansas Secretary of State Kris Kobach's office include two errors about registering to vote in the state, while the English guides do not include the same errors.

The Spanish-language guides said that voters could register up to 15 days before the election, while the English version included the correct deadline, 21 days before the election, as the Daily Kos flagged last week. And while the English guides told voters they could use their passport as a photo ID, the guides in Spanish did not include a passport in the list.

Kobach is notorious for his push to enact strict voter ID laws in the state, impose other voting restrictions, and pursue criminal prosecutions of alleged voting fraud. Kansas faces several challenges to its law requiring proof of citizenship for residents to register to vote.

This was deliberate, and his office should be raided by, and treated as a crime scene by the Feds.

This guy is a bigger threat to America than Osama bin Laden ever was.

Linkage

• Millennials are being dot.conned by cult-like tech companies (New York Post) It's the same as the 1990s dotcom boom.
• Yiddish Curses for Republican Jews (Ma Hamatzav?) Yiddish is a wonderful language for curses. My favorite is, "May you find yourself insisting to a roomful of skeptics that your great-grandmother was “legitimately” raped by Cossacks."
• Head of Chilean chapter of Transparency.org resigns after he is found in Panama Papers (Transparency International) Who says that irony is dead?
• Oops! Bill Clinton Says He ACCIDENTALLY Took $500,000 From Algeria During Key Arms Negotiation With State Department (Downtrend) The depressing thing is that this is probably completely legal.
• Radioactive wild boars rampaging around Fukushima nuclear site (The Independent) No people means more area for them to grow, and larger predators that might keep their numbers down have been crowded out by people over the past 1000 years. They are still too radioactive for people to eat them, so mysuggestion is to airdrop a few packs native predators (the now extinct Hokkaido wolf is very similar to the Gray Wolf, or the also now extinct and smaller Honshu wolf come to mind) into the area.
• Second Russian intelligence report on Turkey’s current assistance to Daesh (Voltairenet) Short version: Our "Ally" Turkey is aggressively supporting ISIS.

Plaster of Paris Bagel and Cream Cheese Paperweight:



Scorcese's most underrated movie/

Dynastic Politics at Its Finest

Duncan D. Hunter, the son of Duncan L. Hunter, has been caught spending campaign funds on personal expenses, a federal crime:

Rep. Duncan Hunter — whose spending of campaign funds on video games made national news this week — said on Thursday that he’s cutting short a trip to Israel to return to the United States and rectify that problem and several other mistakes.

“There was no taxpayer money involved, and I take full responsibility,” Hunter, R-Alpine, said by telephone from his trip. “That’s it. I’m going to pay everything back by tomorrow morning, with interest.”

Hunter said he and his wife were the only two holders of his campaign’s credit card, which incurred most of the expenses. As of Thursday morning, he said, he is now the only card-holder.

Hunter’s call came amid a review by The San Diego Union-Tribune of an unusual pattern of expenditures listed on his disclosure forms as personal expenses or mistaken charges “to be paid back.”

Campaign finance reports show $5,339 in such charges during 2015 alone: $1,128 in travel, $1,650 to Hunter’s children's school in El Cajon, $1,424 for video games and $1,137 paid to an oral and facial surgeon.

The forms list only one personal expense that was actually paid back by Hunter — $169 on Oct. 21, with no indication of which personal expense was being reimbursed. None of the other outstanding charges were listed as repaid, or as an ongoing debt to the campaign for the year-end accounting.

The Union-Tribune was the first to report this week that more than 60 video game transactions totaling $1,302 were being questioned by the Federal Election Commission. News outlets from Esquire to Roll Call picked up the story.

I will note that dynastic politics has a long of enabling corrupt and unqualified, whether we are talking about the Hapsburgs, the any number of the Bush clan, Ron Paul's idiot son, and **ahem** another prominent Presidential candidate.

Bill Clinton Tried for Another Sistah Soulja Moment

Yes Bernie, He Does Owe Us an Apology

I'm sure that all of you read about Bill Clinton's confrontation with Black Lives Matter protestors:

Former President Bill Clinton on Thursday faced down protesters angry at the impact his 1994 crime reforms have had on black Americans and defended the record of his wife, Hillary Clinton, who is relying on the support of black voters in her quest for the presidency.

The former president spent more than 10 minutes confronting the protesters at a campaign rally in Philadelphia for his wife over criticisms that the crime bill he approved while president led to a surge in the imprisonment of black people.

The Democratic race for the Nov. 8 election has become increasingly heated as Hillary Clinton, stung by a string of losses in state contests, has traded barbs with her rival for the party's nomination, U.S. Senator Bernie Sanders, over who is better prepared for the White House.

In Philadelphia, several protesters heckled the former president mid-speech and held up signs, including one that read: "CLINTON Crime Bill Destroyed Our Communities."

………

Bill Clinton, 69, who was president from 1993 to 2001, defended her 1994 remarks, which protesters say were racially insensitive, and suggested the protesters' anger was misplaced.

"I don't know how you would characterize the gang leaders who got 13-year-old kids hopped on crack and sent them out on the street to murder other African-American children," he said, shaking his finger at a heckler as Clinton supporters cheered, according to video of the event. "Maybe you thought they were good citizens. She (Hillary Clinton) didn't."

"You are defending the people who kill the lives you say matter," he told a protester. "Tell the truth."

The worst thing here is not that Bill Clinton has lost his sh%$. It's that he hasn't lost his sh%$.

It has been clear that the Clinton campaign has realized that their attempts to present themselves as being progressive are not working.

They have been tacking right for the past few weeks, and this is Bill Clinton trying for another Sistah Soulja moment, wherein he reinforces his position with rich and comfortable white people by sh%$#ing all over black people.

Much like his crime bill and his disastrous welfare reform, when the Clintons are politically threatened, they throw minorities under the bus.

I Had a Major Freakout Today

I picked up Natalie from visiting her boy friend Ryan.

He was wearing a tank top, and I noticed that, much like me, he was a seriously hairy dude.

I described him as, "A Wookie."

He entered college majoring engineering, though he is switching to music production.

While we were driving home, we discussed his music, and I discovered that, for a while at least, he played the trombone.

Hairy, engineer, trombone player.

That describes her dad as well.

My mind was completely blown.

Natalie was unamused.

Charlie, who was in the car with us, laughed so hard he nearly wet himself.

Who Says that Irony is Dead

Police in Pittsburgh are fighting mandatory drug tests because they claim that it is an unconstitutional invasion of privacy:

In an unprecedented protest against the routine offenses against due process and bodily integrity carried out in the name of the “war on drugs,” the union representing Pittsburgh police officers has condemned workplace drug and alcohol testing as a violation of the Constitution. Their zeal for the right to privacy only applies to themselves, however, not to the public they supposedly serve.

NBC affiliate WPXI reports that the Pittsburgh Lodge of the Fraternal Order of Police “has filed a civil rights grievance against the city, claiming officers have been order to undergo drug and alcohol testing that is in violation of their contract.” Union attorney Bryan Campbell describes the policy as “an illegal search and seizure.”

To which those not protected by Blue Privilege might respond: Welcome to our world, FOP.

………

Another blatantly obvious reason for police opposing public scrutiny of their urine is that it could reveal the usage of such things as anabolic steroids. Police officers are no stranger to ‘Vitamin S’ as many of them have not only been caught using the rage-inducing hormones, but selling them as well.

Gee, you think?

Hero of the Day

The Boss:

Bruce Springsteen announced earlier today via Twitter that he is canceling his performance in North Carolina this weekend because of the organized assault by the state legislature against human rights.

Live in Obedient Fear, Citizen

In Seattle, police raided the apartment of a privacy activist.

They got a warrant by noting that the IP address of the activist was tied to child porn, but they did not tell the judge that the activist was running a Tor node, which meant that he was not the origin point, and had no way to know the content of the material:

One week after Seattle police searched the home of two well-known privacy activists for child porn and found nothing, critics are questioning why the department failed to include a key piece of information in its application for a warrant—the fact that the activists operated a Tor node out of their apartment, in order to help internet users all over the world surf the web anonymously.

"You knew about the Tor node," said Eric Rachner, a cybersecurity counsultant and co-founder of Seattle's Center for Open Policing, addressing the police department on Twitter, "but didn't mention it in warrant application. Y'all pulled a fast one on the judge... you knew the uploader could have been literally anyone in the world."

At 6 a.m. on March 30, Seattle police showed up at the Queen Anne apartment of Jan Bultmann and David Robinson with a search warrant to look for child porn, based on a tip that traced an illicit video to their IP address. Six officers arrived with two vans and spent over an hour doing forensic searches on the computers in the home. One officer stood in the bedroom and watched as Robinson got dressed.

They didn't find anything. Bultmann and Robinson, both board members of the Seattle Privacy Coalition, were released after being detained in a van, but they were left shaken and upset.

………

Bultmann and Robinson had publicly advertised that they operated a Tor exit relay node—a node in the global Tor network, whose purpose is to give users the ability to browse the web anonymously. They said they operated the node as a service to dissidents in repressive countries, knowing full well that criminals might use it as well, much like any other communication tool. Tor stands for "the onion router," a mechanism by which information is encrypted in layers as it passes through multiple, randomized nodes in the network.

In the aftermath of the search, the question was whether Seattle police had done their technical due diligence: Did they recognize that Bultmann and David were operating a Tor node? If so, did they realize that a tip about child porn coming from that IP address, absent any other evidence, likely meant someone else in another part of the world had uploaded the material and it had been randomly routed through their node?

………

"It's like raiding the mailman's house for delivering an illegal letter with no return address," said one commenter on the tech website YCombinator. "Sure, it could have been sent by the mailman, but it could have been sent by anyone. There isn't any more reason to suspect the exit node operators than anyone else in the whole world who could also have used the exit node."

The warrant application (PDF), signed by King County Superior Court Judge Bill Bowman, makes no mention of the Tor node, much less Bultmann and Robinson's public roles as privacy activists. Nor does a warrant application dated February 24 to obtain subscriber records related to the address from Wave G, the Internet service provider. Both documents suggest that Bultmann and Robinson are ordinary web users with a private home connection.

………

SPD spokesperson Sean Whitcomb said the department understands how Tor works and that before executing the search, officers knew that Bultmann and Robinson operated the Tor node out of their apartment. "Knowing that, moving in, it doesn't automatically preclude the idea that the people running Tor are not also involved in child porn," Whitcomb told NPR. "It does offer a plausible alibi, but it's still something that we need to check out."

But in a statement today, the department said its detectives didn't know about the Tor node when they filed the warrant application on March 28. If true, this means detectives took notice of the Tor node after the judge approved the warrant, then carried out the exhaustive early-morning search two days later anyway.

Robinson questions whether police deliberately delayed checking the IP address against the public list of Tor nodes in order to avoid sharing exculpatory information with the judge. He believes a sound investigation would have checked the IP address as soon as the tip came in. "Why spoil a perfectly good warrant with facts?" he asked.

Of course, there will be on consequences for the police who deceived the judge.

There never is.